movement of c

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I’m sitting at my computer, wearing a headset connected to the Skype network. There is a female voice robot on the other line trying to help me with my broken cell phone. She doesn’t understand so I said, “Operator, operator!”. Finally, she said, “Okay okay, calm down. I’ll transfer you to a representative.” Thank goodness.

My cell phone has been on the fritz for a while now. I can use the phone as it’s own entity because the microphone that I talk in to is broken and sometimes dead. My Mum got me a headset earbug for Christmas, and that was a temporary solution to a permanent problem. See, I just flipped some words of wisdom that my high school guidance had written on his chalkboard. During my four years of high school, I read this phrase, oh probably a thousand times:

Suicide: A permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I always questioned the word “solution” as part of that phrase. Holy coffee soda! I mean, the wrong person could read that and think “oh, great a permanent solution!” But obviously, the message is in there somewhere, right? Don’t kill yourself.

Something happened while I was sleeping last night. Maybe it was that whole playing Scrabble in bed thing. I woke up feeling really really mellow. Not like “oh yea, this is so mellow man…”, just a serious inner peace. I was speaking in full sentences, complete thoughts within seconds of awakening. Usually this takes at least 30 minutes to take affect. Last night I was shot down. See, I played Scrabble with Eliot. We even used the extra board lift so that we could put the board on the bed, but still have it spin around.

I was off to a great start. It was a close game for the first 75% of it. Then towards the end, Eliot’s whipping out 30 pointers, 40 pointers, left and right! Yes, Eliot won the game. The final score was 289 (C) to 341 (E). Really what pushed him ahead was “Tranq”. I would of liked to give him a tranq alright! But seriously, I got utterly bitter from losing for a few minutes there, but then succeeded that Eliot really is The King of Scrabble.

So, Ima keep training, like Rocky when he has to fight Clubber Lang. I pity the fool! Shoot, did I really say that?

And in today’s Robot news…

Man Battles a Robot - The Munchkin Master of Ping Pong

NASA’s Sensory Technology, Dancing with a Ballerina

A dead cat in Germany was diagnosed with the deadlybird flu.I know ya’ll be buying organic eggs. And don’t say we didn’t warn you. You heard it first from the Biz.

I can smell the fresh bread that lies around the corner. Luckily, there are positive protons pulling me along for the next 120 hours to bring me to the sweet taste of fresh baked bread. I spent a couple hours yesterday and the morning today organizing digital paperwork for the full 100% transition of power to the new regional manager of the creative movement company I have been working for. I served as the regional manager for 6 months. With much too much emphasis on silly crises, emphatic ass-kissing, and a higher-up that was too depedant on this young professional, I decided to leave the post approximately 60 days ago. The past 60 days have been a whirlwind of interviewing, hiring, questioning, training, explaining, and for past couple of days, organizing. It’s like stepping outside of your own organizational methods and realizing that they only make sense to you. This is probably the case in most people’s lives, especially in relation to the computer.

But I have mass, and I will continue to oscillate. I will pass silently through life through metal detectors because I carry no weapons, and harbor no schrapnel.
I will learn to let things stand and will not sweat the small stuff. I will only sweat on my back, and occassionally my forehead, and more often than not my armpits.

See, I have a secret identity and its name is Chleo. This identifier was comprised of pieces of my names put together in a logical way. Chleo is a master Scrabble player, and she is also very strong. Chleo is a descendant of the neutrino. In addition to the logical puzzle of this name, Chleo also represents the pieces of me that are not always so obvious. Today I felt like Chleo, but sometimes I feel like Cbear. They are one in the same, but represent different things. If you do not believe in pieces, then can you really believe in a whole?

Thoroughly unprepared we take the step into the afternoon of life; worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live in the afternoon of life! (according to the program of life’s morning).

No no no, this is not about not having faith. Expectations are to be expected. But really it’s about realizing the true nature of life. Money-making, social existence, family, and posterity (longevity) are nothing but plain and true nature - not culture. Embrace the morning, what it brings and move on to the midday. Let it stand as standing is one of our greatest evolutionary traits, nothing but true nature - not culture.

And in today’s news:

Hustle and Flow, a great film will has had one of its songs, “It’s Hard Out there For a Pimp”, nominated for an Oscar. I thought the movie was a little slow, but all in all captivating and inspiring artistically.

The board has voted Yes on the statute of limitations for language.

Tonight I saw the first ever Google adplug on television. In true Googleness, the ad was on PBS. How’d they get their money? Well, you may know the gist of it, but here’s the full scoop from the good bloggers at Google.

Yea, we all know the NES system was the best ever. We all have the memories, and some of us still have the consoles. But how great was it really? Read about the legend.

Those words were ringing a bell yesterday, remembering my days in the D.A.R.E. program. It was Officer McSomething that graced my 3rd grade classroom with his uniform and gun holster, and the fear of law enforcement has even since been implanted in chilren’s brain’s everywhere. Fear of drug use, on the other hand? I’m not sure how far that got in to people’s heads.

Yesterday I had a mission to visit my Nani & Papa’s house. The other day, Papa called me to tell me about an antique mirror he found in his attic. It has been in their house since they moved in, which was more than 40 years ago. According to his approximations, the mirror is about 80 years old and carved from dark walnut wood. I’ve been having visions of redesigning my bedroom to include a wide mirror, runners for the shelves, and a loveseat, so this seemed like perfect timing.

The mirror turns out to be a “vanity” style mirror. It has a center section, which is about 4 feet tall and 1.5 feet wide. The two slat on the end can fold out or in, you know like a 3-way vanity mirror from back in the day. Well, here’s where conflict comes in. Papa and Nani are the King and Queen of giving. When Lizzie and I went over there yesterday, not only did they feed us spaghetti and meatballs, tomato & basil bread, and also this awesome carrot banana cake, but Nani also started fishing around in her stash of gatzies upstairs.

For those of you who don’t understand, a gatzie is a like a somewhat-useless thing, often coming in the form of trinkets, cheap gifts. Basically, a lot of “stuff” can be considered “a bunch of gatzies”, and the word does have the underlying meaning of “small” somewhere in it.

Anyway, Nani came down with socks, lotions, a skort, chapstick, and some keychains. See, she works at Filene’s Basement and is well-known for getting stuff dirt cheap. She loves to talk about the deals that she gets, typically like: “Well it was originally 25.99, but it was on sale for 50% off. I had a coupon for another 10% of, plus my 30% discount.” “I think I got is for $2.”

Really, she is an amazing bargain hunter and she’s well-known for leaving the price tags on gifts, probably for the reason of breaking down the deal. I love it, and she’s taught me a lot about smart-shopping throughout the years. But see, the bottom line is that you can’t say no to Nani & Papa. They have this way of just pouring things in your mouth and arms, and you just can’t say no. And it’s like you don’t even want to say no! But then when you drive away with a 40 pound vanity mirror, a plant stand, a can of espresso, half a cake, and 3 new pairs of socks in your back seat, you say, “What did I do?”

I haven’t seen my housemate, Ari, in something like 5 days. She escaped my grasp this morning while I was hibernating in my room. Then I knocked on her bedroom door with some coffee for us both, and there was no answer! Sometimes she’s so sly! But even though we haven’t seen eachother in a week, we have been having parallel thoughts regarding the MS walk/bike for a cure challenges. I’ve been meaning to summon a household meeting to see if my housemates are interested in taking part in a 50 mile walk in Cape Cod this September.

I like walking, and also really like Cape Cod. I haven’t been there in more than 10 years. Plus, I’d like to contribute even a fraction of myself to an even smaller fraction of the quest for research in to the condition of MS. The research and progressive community surrounding issues related to MS seems like a very active and useful one. The MS Society is the largest organization, and their website is updated very often especially in regards to bans/lifts on drugs, issues regarding healthcare, and advances in therapy.

Also, there is a newsletter/newspaper type thing that comes to Eliot’s house in CT, and I forget what it’s called, but it’s always full of really great information. It’s never on that kind of fake, “find a cure” line. Not to be pessimistic, it’s just that I respond better to the research-and-progress approach as opposed to the miracle cure schtick. Wouldn’t anyone be? I like the idea of the walk or bike fundraiser because it seems to have a more hopeful tone to it. But I keep wondering if there are any fundraisers that are more geared to including MS patients with limited mobility.

And in today’s news:

A US Judge ruled that Google infringed on the copyright laws of Perfect 10 Inc., a rather soft porn site, by posting thumbnails of some pornographic pictures in their search results. I hate it when Google gets in trouble for being awesome.

“US District Judge Howard Matz’s ruling, handed down in Los Angeles, stems from a lawsuit filed in 2004 by the pornography firm Perfect 10 Inc., which accused Google of breaching on its copyrights.”

Table-top games are making a comeback, thanks to HP, who are developing a hybrid coffee table and PC with a touch screen. It looks really pretty. Perhaps the only drawback…

“Misto uses a standard desktop PC as its engine, but comes with some specialized HP software for managing the interface, Obrador said.”

The other day, a Serbian woman had to have a worm removed from her eye socket.

No joke, this has been my worst fear since I saw a program on discovery channel where a miniscule parasite got in to his eye and it started growing and growing. Doctors had no idea what it was until they opened up his eye! I thought I had one in my cheek about a year ago, but it turned out to just be a large pimple.

I played online Scrabble this morning, and it turned out to be the longest and highest-scoring game I’ve every played. Since my opponent was in a higher ranking than me, beating him pushed me up to have a ranker 100 points higher, which moved me in to the next category color of Purple (which is 3rd from the top). The word “ruder”, which my opponent laid on the board is not actually valid but I didn’t want to challenge it because the game was getting too long. Here’s a screenshot of the end result!

Do you ever get the feeling that your actions or representations of yourself are not fully evident to yourself until you realize that you are in the prescense of others? Like, picking your nose or swearing in public, for instance. When you are by yourself, you don’t think twice about it but then when I’m driving in my car and feel like I’m alone, I’ll go to pick my nose and suddenly realize that the many cars and people around me are totally seeing what I’m doing. Well, the same goes for my crowded desktop. Without ever having taken the time to direct my downloads to a specific folder, my settings are defaulted to download to my desktop. (Except for music downloads, these are directed to the My Music folder, as they should be).

I took my laptop to the dance studio last week so that I could show some dance clips from “Newsies” to my students who are dancing the opening number from this musical in our show this year. Before staging the dance and setting the choreography, I wanted them to see the original film, understand the era and the overall flavor of New York news boys running ragged through the streets selling papers for a nickel. Priceless. It was my sister who took notice to my unusually crowded desktop, and exclaimed, “Whoa, Christina you have so many icons on your desktop!” Shamefully, I replied, “I know, I have to take care of that.”

It was one of those picking-your-nose-in-the-car moments where suddenly I was exposed. My laziness, my disorganization, and complete lack of respect for my computer’s processing power on start-up were out in the open! Well, tonight I decided to clean up my desktop. And not in the, put-all-the-files-in-a-folder-called-”desktop” kind of way…no, I was going to put the files where they should be.

Alot of these files are images, and looking at them I realized that the last month of my life can be summed up by sequencing these images in a chronological and narrative way. These are all from my desktop, it’s like looking through a photo album. It all started with the new design for my root site, Cbear.

The start of developing the resdesign of my resume website. (Launch Date: TBA)

The search for respectable images that reflect Jewish Learning. This was for the Adult Education workshop at Rainbow By the Sea. I ended up using a different image, but I’m really fond of the message that this one sends, filling in the blanks.

The never-ending quest for cool robot pictures. Originally, this was meant for a recent post here on my blog about robots. All in all, I thought the image was too juvenile to portray the true measures of the development of humanoid robots.

The first in a series of Summer Dance Camp logos intended for the 2006 season, our 4th annual SDC. Note the ballerina in the picture….segway to next….

Ahh, yes the sharp ballerina as I like to call her. Originally, my co-director Jaclyn made the first public Summer Dance Camp flier. She had used this dancer as an image for the top of the flier. When she sent me the draft, I emailed her back and said that I would like to find a nicer dancer image, because that one looks “sharp” and I didn’t think it was really fun at all. Well, on came the first of the battle of the co-directors/friends/control freaks of the SDC ‘06 season. We’ve recovered, and are growing as people.

Pretty rad, huh? This reminds of my waking up in the morning. Queried and summoned during one late night in the ever-lasting quest for a new Ok Public design.

Think inverted.

What did you have for dinner tonight? Actually, this one is out of order because I used this just today for a link on the Shebrew page.

Alright, let’s be real. Am I really going to go through 40 more images when there is still an entire desktop to be cleaned? No, the answer is no. So I’m going to leave you with these lovely pictures of some time Eliot and I spent in Connecticut at his parent’s house where he and Ari grew up. One night, I was feeling ambitious and decided to make a Boston Creme Pie! Actually, I was inspired by the cooking channel that afternoon. Anyway, here’s the shots…..

Take One

Take 2

Me and BCP

Me and Joe, loving the cake!

It’s a Snowday, and a Sunday. My internal clock arose my sleeping self around 7:30 this morning, and as I emerged 3 steps to the window, I could see the savior sending down the snow, now able to give me 3 more peaceful hours in my cacoon. No, I didn’t leave the house to go to my grandmother’s house for a memorial mass and no, there is no rehearsal for Carousel today. It’s one of those days, chilling with the boys, jamming on the machines, and listening to John Legend singing about the reality of the situation right here and now…

“We’re just ordinary people, we don’t know which way to go…”

And seeing that, we ain’t going no where! We’re sitting in the kitchen, plugged in to life support, strapped to our machines. Taking care of business, like there’s no tomorrow. And really, I’m asking myself, will there be a tomorrow for my small life? Many factors ensue…

*Will Melrose cancel school?
*Will Newton cancel Preschool?
*Will the JCC stay closed?

Even though we’re all trying hard, we can’t find the answers on the internet! The answer could be all yay, all nay, or some of this and some of that. Just gotta wait it out, and plan as if tomorrow is booked like usual. Can’t depend on weather, that’s for sure. And can’t depend on selfish wishes, that’s for damn sure.

Right now things are very internalized. Not a lot of external reflection on the things going on in life, which for me is a good thing. There’s an element, a big one, of uncertainty for my future with work and money. Just grinding through a couple more weeks of creative movement mish mash, and then loads of time will free themselves up. Gonna freelance for a while, try and pull in some business, learn some new skills and just stay close with my family and friends. Maybe I can start up my own segment of Ok Public, which is called Dance Web Space. It’s going to be a website for dance studios to order web hosting and/or request their design to be done by yours truly. I want to learn how to offer templates for people to build their own site off of, and also contact the committee of the Dance Teacher’s Club of Boston to request a table at the March meeting for information and a friendly face.

I will need a knowledgable spokesperson for this table, and really I might be the best match. I also need a tech-guru to back me on this project if it’s going to go anywhere. It’s going to be a big project, but hopefully worth it!

I need stats, stats stats! Got to get some support behind the idea, show people that a website for their dance studio will do great things for their business. Is this true? Umm, yea. Center Stage has grown a little bit this year, not sure if it’s exactly from the website (which desperately needs a redesign…in the queue), or because of our bomb-ass dance lessons but the site gets mad hits every month, and I know it’s a great resource for our students and parents to check the monthly schedules, newsletters, updates, snow cancellations, all that jazz.

Plus, with such great prices and wonderful services from Ok Public, you can’t go wrong. $2.95/month….dayam.

Key to survival in a life out of the 9 - 5: Get niched.

Alright, well things seem to come in packages, always some kind of coincidental pairing of ideas that turn in to cohesive thought, epiphany, and ingenius design. A week or so ago, Arthur posted some AZN rap on his website, courtesy of Google video. Oh, how cool, a VLOG. Then Eliot showed me how he was exploring Ajax and working video in to sites through all these fancy schmancy, ultra-smooth methods.

Asynchronous JavaScript And XML, or its acronym AJAX, is a web development technique for creating interactive web applications. Most popular (that I know of) is Google Maps, they use Ajax. The user can pop around boxes, and windows, but really everything stays in the same window. Oh it’s so smooth, and it’s soooo fast cause nothing new is loading. I’m a little perplexed by it, but I’m trying to understand because according to my personal tech-future Guru, it is the future.

Check out Backbase, click on any of the demos and see the awesomeness.

I found this blog today while trying to figure out how Ajax really works, but this man is pointing out some of the problems with Ajax. I don’t really know, but I’m putting it here cause I’m interested to know the truth in his points.

Anyway, back to the video revolution. “Okay sure,” I thought…about 5 months ago I spent like 7 hours trying to figure out how to incorporate a media player in to my blog so I could post the videos of my sister being Napolean Dynamite. I still have the draft saved in my WP account, but no successful video. Alas, I have found the truth but am awaiting verification.

So then we are checking out Beyond Limits, this interactive video galore site with people’s stories who are doing fun things from their wheelchairs, or sports, and just quality stuff. They use Quicktime. Check it out, watch some videos.

This is the new progression and internet madness! Yea, maybe I’m catching on a little late, but you know I got that slow learning curve sometimes when it comes to this type of stuff. Teach me a 5 minute dance, choreograph it all in one setting for me, I’ll absorb that stuff like a sponge cake, and you know, it’ll never leave. I think my brain is a little clogged with 19 years of choreography so sometimes I have to do a Defrag and just get the compartments straight again.

You know how people sometimes talk about the disconnect?

“Oh, I like talking in person better than email, cause email is so impersonal….” Wah, wah wah…

No more, my friends. No more can you call the internet impersonal. It IS personal, and that’s why we got spaces for you all over the web. Spaces for YOU to make it personal. The only thing that makes it impersonal is if you choose not to participate. The internet is democratic, non-political, and beautiful. It’s our galaxy!

Well now 3rdarm.biz has this awesome circus party of Noo Media, look at his sidebar, which is on the LEFT for all you right-side barrers out there.

And in the spirit of the new media, I’ll be posting some video for ya’ll to enjoy just as soon as Google Vids verifies my goods.

Yesterday afternoon I sat here writing my blog entry, which was to say the least a fleshing out period. Around 1pm I started receiving zero packets! Sending, yes…receiving, no. What’s this? The connection is down! In a binary switch from computer land to physical reality, I got ready for my next job of the day and ran out the door to Melrose. About an hour later, I got a call from Art.

A:”I’m having some trouble with the internet! The connection is down!”

C: “I know, it happened right before I left.”

A:”Well I called Comcast and paid the bill for the next 18 years.”

C: “I think it’s the modem. Did you reset it?” This happened before and we jangled it around a bit and it started working again. Call Comcast and tell them we need a new modem tomorrow at the latest!”

A:”I’m on it.”

8 hours later, I come in the door after teaching 5 dance classes at CSDS. Eliot sits staring at his computer screen in our room. No windows are open, and he looks confused….

C: “Hey babe, how you doing.”

E: “Ohhh, not tooo bad. No internet.”

Sidenote: By this time I had forgotten all about the day’s earlier events.

C: “I know….it happened this afternoon.” [Recap conversation with Arthur.]

C: “Oh yea, and there was a hail storm today, minitaure sized golfballs….”

E: “Comcast is coming tomorrow between 11 and 1.”

The rest of the night was spent in the most unusual of circumstances, but how lovely! Our 4 housemates, me included sat in the kitchen discussing Self-Loathing Jews, the wonders of Necco Hearts, and having a good laugh over the absurdity of actually sitting in a room together and talking! Around 11pm, Art comes home as we continue our converation…

“Well, I can see the internet is still down.”

But this morning I sit at my computer, connected to the wireless network called, “PeoplesRepublic.”

Cambridge, a beautiful place with wonderfully minded people. Thanks to whoever’s spraying out the connection. Have a great day

I’ve been thinking about robots for the past, well nevermind for how long. I was pondering the idea of a robot that could have an interchangable face. Like a universal body with some kind of hollographic face plate that could reflect the features of a given person. This robot, if dressed corrected, and with an advanced enough hollogram could take the place of you, me, her, and him in such tasks as going to the bank, picking up cigarettes, and/or getting coffee at the local 7-11.

So I got to thinking. How far are robots from breaching the standard of universals…a transcendance of sorts. What will make them be accepted? What will make humanoid robots be respected? Not how far can they take us, but how far can they go? And certainly, such an advanced state is not necessarily the end-all of robotics. Maybe these robots aren’t for me. I should still go get my own coffee and cigarettes. Maybe they are for, well, themselves. With a little research, I found some interesting philosophical takes on robotics from Masahiro Mori.

Mori is a Japanese robotist whose first book, The Uncanny Valley supports the idea that humans will go through a struggle of emptions in accepting humanoid robots. As robots evolve to look more like humans, people will be more accepting, sympathetic, and positive. On the other hand, if the robot is “practically human”, then the non-human characteristics will be the ones that stand out, leading to a feeling of “strangeness” in the human viewer. For instance, not eating a meal with you, not blinking regularly, etc. etc.

Mori has a wealth of other connecting theories, including the idea that robots are capable of reaching a Buddah-like state. But he is sometimes criticized because he made these claims in the late 1970s. David Hanson, the man who built the humanoid robot face (uuh, of his girlfriend), totally disagrees with Mori. Supposedly he has criticized Mori because human-like robots are “only possible now, and only partially”. Oh if only I had more time to write, because this is getting in to something interesting.

What qualifies a “robot” as human-like? What even defines a human to be human-like? If we take some time to break down these questions and answer them in a rational and essential way, we will find that humanoid robots are not really about the platinum-cured silicone “skin” but about some other things that are certainly possible now, and were founded long before our time.

Ok, I’ve got to take Jonny to his karate class now. Adios!

Well it’s getting very late and I have an early morning tomorrow. I’ve just watched a PBS special on the last few months of Dr. Marin Luther King’s life. I transcribed many of his speeches and also bits of the story that I hadn’t absorbed before. I will be posting these on Sunday, at midnight, in honor of Martin Luther Kind day on Monday. But my real question is, why is MLK Jr. Day in January? Perhaps I will have the answer soon.

For, now since I’m too tired to move my fingers quickly I’ll leave you with a few distractions.

• 1. Eliot having fun with a hard drive.
  (Few or many may have seen this before, but it’s been a while and resurfacing okay.)

• 2. My sister Elizabeth’s first short story, which will be published little by little on this website. Soon a link will appear on my side bar, which is located on the right, with the entire story archived.

  Chapters 1 - 3 of Key to the Future.

• 3. Do you have that kind of dark sense of humor? Really, I’m sorry but this is so funny.